Surplus of Ambivalence

A short story on how I spent my valentines week :) Enjoy!

She woke up 3:45 in the morning. The sky was dark, engulfing every nocturnal human being with gloom and the midnight zephyr was cold, it felt like invisible crushed ice on her skin. She did not notice that valentines day coincides in the week that might be her last. Never in her life, she waited impatiently for the coming of valentines day. It was Sunday, the day she volunteered to run and save lives with other 143 red cross 'volunteers'. She ate the first slice of the deep dark heart-shaped chocolate cake. She went online on facebook and half-expected a message in her inbox. It came and she was happy; she felt a surge of nostalgia when she needed to log out to start preparing for the run.

She got home from the run she surely enjoyed. She was terribly exhilarated. She had yet to finish the graph for her group's research project but she opted to sleep after taking lunch and proceed to the project after her siesta. She woke up and did what exactly what she intended to do. However, she went online and talked to her friend whose ball she was invited to. She was asked in a phone call by this friend she assumed to have been intoxicated with liquor while making the call last week. They talked about their 'should be' matching outfits and their expectations. Few hours have passed, the lights along the streets were beginning to fade into oblivion one by one along with her patience that is slowly being drained every movement of the second hand in the clock.

She woke up 3:30 in the morning that following Monday and finished writing the descriptions of the graphs she constructed the night before. She went to school with all the interest to be productive. She got home taking the responsibility to edit the format of the graph and add an interpretation of it. While fulfilling her responsibility, she went online on facebook as an acknowledgement of her defeat to self-control and a revelation of her desire for the persistence of the unintended daily routine with her friend.

Then again, there was nothing different about her tuesday this week. It is a real life "Mr. Bean" episode on disney channel.

Wednesday. The day she noticed the imminent valentines day. The day when they were told that tomorrow's the deadline of passing Chapters: 1-5 of the Research Project. The day that felt like hell without any valid and legit reason to be. The day which seemed to have passed without any recognition from her. The day that would have been sinful if it had felt envy towards the day preceding it. The day that was not given importance and attention despite the fact that it was more deserving. The day that deserves recognition for it was the reason why the following day became the happiest day for the majority of lovers out there. The day that can be synonymous to life. Why? Because it was a preparation. However, not merely a dull usual preparation.... She spent her Wednesday preparing for SCHOOL on Thursday.

THURSDAY may be considered as one of her heart-warming days. She woke up at the same time. She went to school with the expectation that she would be late but she was not. Instead she arrived just in time. She took 3 achievement tests this day and for the first time, meet the target number of lessons to be accomplished in English 11 for the PFC (Parents Facilitators Conference). She was productive; exactly how she planned it. She arrived home 4:25 in the afternoon. She then meet her neighbor in Zen Tea after 35 minutes staying at home. Everything that happened after that was unplanned.

On friday, she noticed the irony in the relationship between February 13 and 14. She noticed that a day was spent to prepare for a day that was filled with surprises. She noticed that February 13 was used to attain something that is impossible to attain merely by preparation alone; that your preparation can only be applied for only 1/2 of the whole day; that the outcome of the activities on the 14th is not even dependent on the preparation you have done yesterday. Despite of this, people never ceased to dedicate February 13 for its 'tomorrow'.

I think this is the best explanation of the abstract peculiar feeling that dominates the world on Valentines Day :)

How I spent it?